4 Comments

I think the bring cookies/treats to L&D is a nice suggestion, but not a rule. It was certainly not the norm at my NYC hospital and not really possible nor on my mind when my water was breaking at 4AM two weeks early.

The other rule I would contribute is "Still invite your parent friends to events and outings, even if you know they likely will not attend. While bedtimes and parenthood obligations make going out past 7pm difficult, we don't want to be completely cut off from our old life and will appreciate having the option to go and hire a babysitter or have one parent go out and the other stay home with the child. Let your friend tell you to stop inviting them vs. assuming they can't or won't want to go."

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Don’t tell a postpartum mom how you “bounced back” after your pregnancy (especially when they clearly haven’t yet…) :(

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Hi Erin,

I feel like you work to be as inclusive as possible so hopefully this will be helpful feedback. My kid is almost two but I still love reading this feature and so much of it resonates with my experience.

When I got to 8 on this particular list, I stopped reading. The rule applies to Mom (or birthing parent) and Dad (or non-birthing parent)... so close. I'm a solo parent. When I delivered I was the birthing person and I had a non-birthing person with me (my sister) but there was not a non-birthing parent. This might seem really small but solo parents are often alienated by language that assumes two parents in writing about pregnancy, birth, parenthood, etc.

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Can we add the "Bring cookies to nurses" to the friends/family list? I was so stressed at my sudden induction and felt terrible that I had nothing to thank my nurses with. Let's unburden the parents, but especially the one giving birth, and have our community step up.

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